Sorry, guys.

Since the musical-ish, people have been saying this to me a lot:

“I love you.”

And while I know that it’s all friendly and such, I can’t say it back to you. Some of you have noticed this. Don’t worry, it’s nothing personal. It’s just that I’m careful with my words. Well, not really CAREFUL. But I choose my words wisely.

And I choose that those three words, in the order that they’re in, will remain special. And will be saved for the one who’s special to me.

So yeah. If, in the past 18 years or so, you’ve said, “I love you,” to me and I didn’t tell you that I love you back, don’t be offended. Don’t be hurt. There’s a reason I do (or in this case, don’t do) things.

Carry on.

Just a poor, misguided fool.

I haven’t played much video games in the past month. And I’m very happy about that fact. In fact, I have 11 hours logged in the past two weeks on Steam. I think that’s a new low record. Games are boring. And I’ve been trying not to play them again. Trying to spend as much time as possible away from the computer. But if I do that… then how will I survive in college when I’m supposed to spend “up to 40 hours” doing homework a week? What will happen to me then? Will I go off and party with friends rather than sitting in front of my computer all day like I’m doing now? Which is worse?

I’m getting back into Muse. Full swing. I’m not sure why. But I am fully enjoying it. Music. I want to try leading praise for a week. Just to see what it feels like. To see if I can actually lead a group of musicians. I need to prepare. Music majoring requires you to know how to conduct and stuff. Thundercats go! If you couldn’t already tell, I’m trying to make my ideas flow more cohesively–just another thing I’m trying to do to get prepared for college and writing papers. Although I’m not entirely sure if I’ll have to write many papers–Computer Science and Music Theory. Is there much to write about in either of those areas? They’re mostly just ideas and application.

Hi, Pastor James.

Instruments to learn and their reasons:





Guitar: Fingerpicking, Classical and Spanish.


Harp: The harp part of “Romeo and Juliet Fantasie Overture” –Tchaikovsky




Violin: Violin part of “R&J”. (done. Kinda.) I also want to learn how to fiddle.




French Horn: I don’t know, it’s only like the most beautiful instrument in the symphony.


Oboe: Gross.


Bassoon: Second to French Horn.







I’ve always wanted to do a multitrack of some sort. For example, this is a guy I used go to school with:


VVVC: I’ve also always wanted to do a multitrack of my playing a quartet piece by myself.



Actually, I don’t even know if that’s a flute. But it’s cool.


Lately I’ve been toying with the idea that everybody is actually one person, but in a different lifetime.

It sounds kind of stupid, now that I think about it. But I’m you.

And you’re me.

We’re also Angelina Jolie, Barack Obama and Osama bin Laden.

Maybe the spirit that goes through all of us is a “God.” In its own rite.

That means I’m God. And so are you. We’re all experiencing every single moment of every life to exist. Ever.

That must take a lot of time.

Perhaps this has something to do with the idea or reincarnation, or with nirvana or something. I don’t know. But I’m sure someone has thought of this before. I wonder what it’s called.

Valley girls.

I’m currently sitting in my friend’s aunt’s house.
It’s 1:05 AM.
I don’t really know why I’m still up.
I’m supposed to meet Ms. L tomorrow.
Not sure how that’ll go, or what I’m supposed to do when I’m there.
But hopefully we can think of something.

I’m a little excited to meet the fam-bam.
I’m not quite sure why I said that.
But I’m excited to see this place of which I have only heard.
And never visited.
I’m sure it’s amazing.
Because this person lives in it.

Well, anyway. I’m in a city called Simi Valley.
We drove for several hours today.
A little taste of what is to come.
Not sure whether to be excited for the upcoming 20 or so hours.

The food here is pretty good.
I’m sure I’ve put in more than a few pounds.

1:28. Bed time.