Eld

They say a few things happen when you get older.

First, you lose your creativity.

Second, you stop appreciating the little things in life.

Third, you lose all the time you have for yourself and the things that you love.

It’s all happening.

It’s true that I haven’t been stopping to smell the roses as often, and many attribute this change to the increase of activity that takes up mental space. But I feel as if I’ve smelled the roses so much that I’m just tired of them. There’s a rose around every corner, and I appreciate them all–it just takes a spectacular one to impress me.

My creativity is waning because I’m at a loss of where to use it. Creativity is one of those skills that is much harder to develop than to lose. You have to keep working at it to keep it sharp–sit idly and it’s gone.

Now, I spend a lot of my time learning about things I love, practicing them, executing everything. It’s fulfilling, to a certain extent. Sometimes I just want to do something else, and other times I wonder if there’s anything more. Some ennui is beginning to come over me, and I’m not even working. I hope this isn’t early-onset depression from a lack of direction in life.

But this is what I wanted. I don’t want to be hinged on some salary. The last few months I wrote about how I never want to return to the rat race, and I don’t think I’m going to change my mind about that soon.

I can’t help but notice how much and how quickly my attitude toward money has changed in the last few months. Several months ago, I would have balked at the idea of thinking so much about money, about thinking of ways to minimize cost.

Now, however, I’m constantly brainstorming ideas of how I can make my penny stretch further, and where I can put my money so it makes me some more.

Many of the most successful people in the world have, at one point, lost everything they have.

I hope it doesn’t happen to me, but maybe I should.