When Life Hands you Lemons

Happy new year, first of all.

There’s a little problem I want to address…. well, it’s not a problem. Well, it is. Er… you’ll see.

We humans are a very peculiar race. We raise our kids not only with the intention of teaching them how to survive, but also to thrive. This thriving consists of using tools to our advantage, but it also includes the manipulation of other people, objects and occasions based on the circumstances at hand. We call them “morals.”

Growing up, we’re taught very strictly that there are things that we can do and others that we verily should not. Of course, when we reach a certain age, we understand why our parents forbade us from doing certain things and that there are certain occasions when doing those things are okay. But when we’re told we can’t do something, it comes with the question of “why?” (maybe not at an early age, but I believe it begins to surface at around age five). And to these questions, there’s perhaps one easy answer: “because it’s wrong.”

But not everything we do is wrong. And not everything we do is right. Weren’t there times when we’d just pass homeless people begging at the side of the freeway exit and our parents would tell us not to pay them any heed? Wasn’t that wrong?

No. In fact, nothing is ever completely wrong and nothing is ever completely right. Even that statement was neither completely right nor wrong. The truth is, we don’t live in a world of black and white. We live in a world that’s fifty shades of…. yeah. You get the picture.

All throughout elementary and middle school, we’re inundated with the message that things in history were “right” and “wrong.” Historical figures, events, and people are all generalized into these categories and anyone who is in neither extreme is simply left out or mentioned very briefly.

It wasn’t until high school that I began to notice these patterns. We were assigned novels in English class that showed me both sides of an argument–and eventually allowed me to be able to be reasonable. I know this fact makes me sound trite, but when you’re in grade school all your life, you’re extremely ignorant (but that’s a different post for another time). When you’re growing up, you’re in a position where all your decisions are made for you, whether you notice or not. Your choices hardly carry any weight, if any at all. It’s not completely necessary for you to be able to see both sides of an argument as objectively as possible.

As we grow up, we’ll be faced with more and more of these “gray” choices. There’s no good way to practice, either, with the exception of a few movies and games. Just know that if you have to make a choice, there’s a very high chance that there is another side to the situation that you cannot see, cannot understand and therefore cannot sympathize with. This other choice will have pros and cons that you will never know. It’s a crazy world, and you just gotta take it as it comes.

Enjoy your gray life.

It doesn’t take much to notice that people are waiting longer and longer to get married nowadays. It’s actually quite a peculiar trend, but it’s also not all that surprising.

There are a couple things that have attributed to this; the first one being the longer average lifespan. It makes sense: two hundred years ago, people were struggling to reach the age of 80. So naturally, you’d want to get married sooner and have kids and continue multiplying and carrying on the human race. Girls get married at 14 to guys double their age and nobody says anything. Yeah, it’s fine. Whatever.

But then there’s the redefinition of marriage in the 21st century and the loosening of Christian morals on the average American household. No longer is it taboo to lay with a person you aren’t married to; in fact, we’re reaching a point where people within society are glorifying this behavior and exalting those who excel at it. Marriage is no longer the introduction of adulthood; rather, it is the sign of slowing down. It is indicative of “being bogged down by the woman who has ultimate control of your life.” For many, this is an undesirable state of being and they often try their hardest to prolong its preceding phase–the dating phase.

However, there is one more factor that may or may not be significant: I call it “The Disney Factor.” The current generation of young adults has grown up with Disney films, which, as you may know, were animated, slightly altered versions of written fairy tales. And as all fairy tales go, the average girl gets the dashing prince and they lived happily ever after.

This is a problem. As we know (or as anti-video game activists claim), children have trouble discerning between reality and fantasy. These films put emphasis on finding Mr. or Mrs. Right: that one person who coincidentally finds us in our hour of dire need and pulls us out of the hole, and that we would immediately fall in love, get married, consummate and live happilly until death. These films taught us that there would even be such a person to be there when we most needed a helping hand (Jenna Marbles did a video on this [naughty words inside]). It’s almost as if those films’ purpose was to give purpose to the lives of children: to blossom into beautiful beings, discriminate against those who are different and get married. It’s understandable that once a child finds out that what they spent their entire childhood dreaming about was not all it was chalked up to be, he will rebel against everything he knows.

It’s not just about the rebellion, either. The emphasis on finding the right person will inadvertently cause young adults to be extra wary of those around them, while constantly wondering who it is that’s going to be their “perfect match.” They’re worried of making mistakes–of taking the risk of stepping into the unknown. This worry is not ungrounded. But really, there’s only one way to find out.

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P.S. I was asked to write about the importance of education. I feel that this video summarizes my view quite well.

I fear that the best days of my life are now over.

Being a third year in college means that my friends from before college are now busy doing their own thing in other places. I don’t see them as much anymore, and I worry that this will become the standard. I don’t want it to be. I’m losing some of my best friends because of school and work business.

I spent most of my life staying at home, opting not go to go out with friends in favor of playing games. Not going to prom. Not partying. Not “living it up.”

What if I don’t get a chance to do that anymore? What if the friends that I was able to have fun with are now gone and forever out of my reach? Was it a mistake not to party and have fun and do reckless things for the sake of my youth?

I actually asked a Magic 8-Ball for this. Here’s proof.

I’m looking forward to the rest of my life. If my friendships really are meant to be, doesn’t that mean that my old friends will become friends once again? Then we’ll have plenty of time to catch up and reminisce about the old times we had together.

Or do I? With the demographic of the group of people with whom I interact on a weekly basis, I’m starting to feel some internal pressure to hurry up and find that “special person.” I definitely don’t feel like I’m ready and I certainly don’t want to dive headfirst into something I have no experience in.

I’ve got time to think about the right moves. There’s no rush.

*deep breath*

There’s no rush.

Edit: Finally remembered the other stuff that I was gonna write.

I am a true proponent of the idea that “Ignorance is bliss.” The part of me that wanted to grow up the most was the part that was just tired of teenage drama and bullcrap. From the things I’ve heard and experieced, it seems like adults are even more guilty for this stuff than teenagers are. If adults can’t be honest with each other, then what’s the point of being an adult?

I find this especially true within the church subculture. It’s church. We’re supposed to be there for one another; to be open and forgiving and loving and caring and things that just aren’t happening often enough in church in general. People are too worried about being judged or their trust betrayed.

Being an adult isn’t just about being older. It’s also about facing your responsibilities. Telling the truth and trying to make the world a better place is a responsibility that falls on the shoulders of everybody in the world.

Do it.

It’s 3am and I’m sitting here playing a fish version of bejeweled. I have a quiz tomorrow. What am I doing?

It’s not that I can’t sleep–although, recently, it’s been pretty tough for me to go to bed at night and get up at a reasonable time. I also had way too much for dinner. But still, staying up late, playing games that take no skill usually end up with me reflecting on things that have happened recently. A question that just came to me:

Why am I so afraid to talk about my faith?

I used to be cool and confident when it came to my beliefs. But that was years ago. Now I can barely get myself to say “God” in front of other people. Even in front of church people. It’s been so long since I wrote a blog post about God, Jesus or the church. I feel really disheartened.

It’s hard to say that I’ve been trying my best not to get to this point. The truth is I haven’t been doing ANYTHING to prevent myself from getting to this point. The worst part is, I don’t even know why. Why did I let myself fall further into the hole? I knew that momentum would pick up over time; unfortunately, terminal velocity does not exist.

It’s a problem. How can I be one of the faces of my church if I cannot even say the name of whose house I attend?

I hope it’s just a phase.

Maybe it’s because I’ve been so busy with schools, schedules, routines and the modern life. Gotta get things done fast.

As I walked out my door a few hours ago, I noticed a beetle on the door frame. It was at face height.

I blew on it and it fell off. It hit the ground with a thud. I laughed to myself. What a pathetic little insect. Then I realized how great of a metaphor it was for life. You spend all this time climbing to the top, when some big wig walks by and knocks you down because he doesn’t like who you are.

And then I thought about how great it would be if I wrote a blog post about it.

And then I realized how silly it would be to write a blog post about it.