Category: Uncategorized

Warning: contains… references…

Many, many people rely on Google to get things done. A few, a very few, including Keifer Sutherland (the lead actor for the hit TV show, 24), don’t know how to use a computer at all. Here, in this step-by-step tutorial, I will assume that you don’t know how to use a computer. Or anything, for that matter. This tutorial is meant to be used for people who use Windows computers. If you don’t know whether or not your computer runs Windows, ask someone.
There are, like all things, right and wrong ways of using Google. We’ll cover what’s right and wrong later. But for now: here’s how to use it.
You start by finding a computer. Now find a chair. Take the chair, and sit down in front of the computer. You do this by standing in front of it first; place your hand on the back of the chair for stability. Slowly bend your knees. Be careful not to do it too quickly, or you might hurt yourself; too slowly, and you might tire yourself out before you’ve finished. Slowly ease your butt onto the seat. Now you can relax. You’ve done well so far.
Bring your hands up. The left one should go onto the big rectangle to your left; your right, on the elliptical, bean-shaped thing on your right. The thing under your right hand is called a mouse. Stroke it to show it that you come in peace. Put your hand around it and grip it, but not too tightly; you don’t want to hurt it. After all, it’s what you’ll probably be using the most. You don’t want it to run away on you. Now look at it. You should see two buttons. Your pointer finger goes on the left; your middle finger on the right (when you bring your finger down on either of the buttons, the buttons should make a very distinct clicking noises).
Assuming that your computer is on and running, you should jiggle the mouse a little so you can find the pointer on-screen. Bring your pointer down to the bottom-left corner of the screen. There should be a button larger than the others down there. Click it.
A menu should come up. Click the very top icon, labeled “Internet” in bold letters. It should open up your internet browser (assuming you are connected to the internet). Find the bar near the top with the http:// in it. Click that bar, and the words in it will be highlighted in blue. Now, take your right hand off the mouse and put it on the keyboard.
Look at your keyboard. See the little ridges on the “f” and “j” key? That’s where your pointer fingers go. Now, when you press down on these keys, the letter that corresponds to that key will appear in the bar. Type in “g-o-o-g-l-e-.-c-o-m.” and press the “Enter” key. When you type, type delicately. If you do it too hard, then you might make loud noises. But do it hard enough for a response.
Congratulations! You are now on Google. You are now ready to search. To do this, start typing words you wish to look up. Say, for example, you want to look up Dell. So you type in Dell and press your enter key. It’s that easy!
How Google works is, it searches all around the internet for the website that is most linked to by other websites, if that makes sense. The site that has to most websites linking to it will usually be on top.
Now that you know how to use Google, you need to know how NOT to use Google. Here’s an example. You do NOT bang on the keyboard for fun. You do NOT try to feed your mouse; it’s been engineered to not have to eat, ever. You do NOT bathe your mouse, it will only result in its unhappiness. You do NOT search “sausages” when you’re supposed to do be doing yard work. You do NOT search for things that would be considered “inappropriate”; they will only damage your computer. You do NOT look for illegally acquired movies, and do not, I repeat, DO NOT search for Google on Google. You will override the server, which will result in a crash and an epic failure of your intranetz.
Great! You know how to use Google now! Congratulations! You are one step closer to becoming the great Google-er that you wish you were. Have fun with your Google. Be sure to it keep it clean, and try not to damage it by using it too often. Have a nice day!

We’ve been talking about evolution in Biology for the past month or so, and it’s really gotten me to think.

We’ve evolved up until this point, to this thing we are now. Animals evolve. And let’s just say that we evolved as well.

All up until the point when the first person started to use a tool…

Man has been creating things for the good of themselves.

So, rather than humans adapting to better suit their environment,

what we get is humans changing the environment to better suit their needs.

We  see this most prominently in the biggest of cities.

We have cars. We have buildings. We have roads. We have clothes.

We have chairs. Beds. Tables.

None of these things were used by the very veeeeery first humans.

Then, after all this adapting of environment, we get humans adapting to better suit their changed environment.

People growing taller. As time goes on.

People changing environment to make it easier for the taller ones.

Shorter people dying off because they can’t survive (hopefully not within the next hundred years… there’s plenty of pleasant short people alive today).

Maybe, eventually, we’ll end up looking like people on stilts.

With cities in the skies.

Above the clouds.

Upon a few weeks of thought, I’ve decided to not post my blog about religion. I still have the draft; I just don’t think it’ll work out.

Now, if any of you jerks who blam Christianity without any support, leave a comment. I’ll try to rebut you in the best way possible.

So today I decided to take my own advice and walk without my Zune. Actually, someone convinced me to go outside because it was a sunny day. And I left my house with only my keys, phone and wallet. I even left my jacket at home. It’s okay. I didn’t need it. So from 4PM to around 7PM, I was wandering about, aimlessly, in Mukilteo. I walked about 6.08 miles. Felt good.

This is where I walked.

Today… was such an epic day, even if I was tired and in pain at the end. It was all worth it, I would have to say. I was texting people as I walked out of my neighborhood, walking onto Mukilteo Speedway. I made a stop at Taekwondo and chatted with a few of the guys there (who, by the way, are great people). After that I headed up in the direction of school; I didn’t really know what I was doing or where to go,  so I just walked.

I walked to Friend 1’s house; we were having small groups later that day and I thought I would stop by and see how he was doing. Turned out he wasn’t home. I went inside and found nobody. I sat for a while, then decided to go out. On my way out, I saw his mom pulling weeds. It was so awkward. She must have thought I was a thief or something.

So I left, and I kept walking in the direction I was heading. I noticed a girl from my school leaving her house; I was friends with her brother, a seventh grader, and I decided to stop in to loot his food supply before heading out again.  And so I left, asking people if they were home, to see if I could stop by and say hello. Most of the time I was not welcome;  so I continued walking. I walked and walked, walking through places I’ve always wanted to walk through but had never had the chance before. I walked through the Harbour Pointe loop thingy. And throughout this whole trip, I noticed a few things. Here they are in list form:

1) Mukilteo is a lot nicer than I thought. I guess most of what I see is industrial.
2) I usually test the driving skills of drivers when I walk. Sometimes I wave them by when I’m trying to cross a street; if they go, then they’re not good drivers. I think. If they wave me to go by, then they are.  Pedestrians have the right of way.
3) There were a few people that passed me that actually greeted me. I was suprised. I didn’t think anybody would actually greet me.
4) There was some guy, after I stopped running, that I came up behind, and he must have thought I was a threat or something because he kept glancing back at me.
5) I lost my train of thought.

Anyway, on the way back, I hopped a gate and landed on my leg funny and now it hurts. Nothing too bad, I hope.

This blog turned out to be longer than expected.

Next trek scheduled for… I don’t know when. Whenever I have time. Someone should welcome me into his/her home.

Alright, I admit it. I made a kid cry today. Here’s what happened.

I went walked into Columbia Elementary at little late today, and when I went in, I sat down in my usual spot in the Lifeskills room, on my chair made of giant puzzle pieces. I did my usual routine of making the children grab a piece of paper off of velcro that says “popcorn” on it, which is basically their way of “talking” to us.  While I was doing that, I glanced at Jorden (the one who can’t swallow) a few times, who was over on a swing,  looking absolutely depressed. A few moments later, a heard a gentle whining, and when I looked over at Jorden, I noticed he was crying. I pointed it out to one of the teachers, who said, “Yeah, thanks for noticing.” One of the other teachers told me that she would get a book for me to read to him (since she was the tallest and put the bins up high above cabinets where nobody else could reach them >.>), and as soon as I stood up, Jorden stopped crying and had this HUGE smile on his face. He always does when he knows he’s going to be read to.

The teacher handed me a book titled, “Peek-a-who?” (or something similar–I can’t really remember the title), and I walked over to Jorden, who was kicking and laughing like he does when he’s excited. I sat down and started reading the book. There were cartoon animals in the book, showing their arms covering their eyes. “Guess who? Peek-a…” and then you unfold a flap and it brings down their arms, and on the inside, it says, “Moo! says the Cow.” “Guess who? Peek-a… Baa! says the sheep.” Jorden was sitting there, laughing and kicking, when I came across a page that was missing a flap. The page was ripped out. So I made a makeshift one. “Guess who? Peek-a… cluck cluck! says the chicken.” and I removed my hand. He enjoyed it so much. I continued on to the last page, where there’s a little baby and the words, “Guess who? Peek-a…boo! Says you.” And I unfolded the flap and he enjoyed it. So I went back to the beginning and started all over, and when I came across the chicken, I did it again, putting my hand over its face, and I said, “Peek-a… Quack! says the mouse. Peek-a…Quack! says the mouse. Peek-a…Quack! says the mouse.” He seemed to enjoy this so much that I kept doing it and doing it… and when he finally lost interest, I went over to the last page and did it with the baby. “Peek-a….boo! Peek-a….boo! Peek-a….boo!”

Ah, what fun it was. In the middle of it, I thought about what had happened in the beginning, when he was crying, and it made me felt like crying. I mean, the lack of attention was understandable; there was an almost-full house today, with a new boy named Danny (who happens to be the only white boy there). The kids require so much attention that it’s easy to forget about other ones.

It was such a simple act of moving my hand back and forth across the page. It was so entertaining for him. Yet he was so forgotten.

So, after I had played this “peek-a-boo” game with Jorden for about half an hour, I saw that I had made him laugh so hard that he was crying. I felt good down inside for making Jorden happy, but I also felt rather guilty because I didn’t want to read to him when I first got there. When I read to him, the teachers make me stay longer, preventing me from going to the library on time, not having me take the other kids out to the school bus, because apparently I’m the best they’ve had work with Jorden. I doubt that’s true.

On another note, have you ever met a person who drives a short bus? They’re so awesome, dude. They know their kids by name (probably because there’s only one or two), but they treat them so nicely. I wish I could be friends with the short bus drivers.  I mean, I reaaaally don’t like the normal bus drivers. The one I had in middle school was an absolute [female dog].

Goodnight.