The older I get, the more people I meet who need help.
Maybe it’s arrogant of me even to say it. But in my years, I’ve come to notice patterns in peoples’ behavior and speech that point to some underlying issues, or important turning points in their pasts.
I wish I wasn’t able to spot these clues. I’ve always been the type of person to help others before helping myself. I’d rather starve than let my friend go hungry. It’s also in my personality to endlessly analyze and dissect things until I understand them to their core. These two are dangerous together.
I have taught myself to tone down these two aspects of my personality. Or rather, I have taught myself to stop acting on these urges, because they were harming my relationships and my own health. Still, I find it easier to “diagnose” a complete stranger than a close friend or family member.
Because of that, I get the feeling I shouldn’t take my first impression of a person too seriously. This is especially true if I’m not able to find something “wrong” with that person in the first impression. Some are able to hide it well; others have deeper issues that don’t affect their personalities in a strong way; others yet may just have no issues at all.
When I was younger, an older friend of mine pointed out: “As you get older, you will start to see patterns in people. There are only a small number of the types of people in the world, and you can quickly make accurate judgements about them.” That was 2014. I never thought I’d see the day. It’s also not what I expected to happen while becoming wiser in my age. I’m also not quite sure what to do with these superpowers.
If I’ve met you recently, hello! Also, I may have made some mental judgements about you. I’m sorry.
In other news, I’m finding myself becoming more comfortable in social situations (I guess a year and a half of studying social things in quarantine has been helpful), and thus becoming more confident in myself. Is that good or bad? I don’t know. I still hate small talk, though. Get that away from me.