When might you NOT want to sneeze into the inside of your elbow?

Various health organizations around the US have been recommending that people sneeze into the inside of your elbow instead of your hands, and the reasoning is pretty sound. For one, you touch things with your hands. Imagine someone offers you a handshake after they sneeze into their hands. yuck.

And that’s about the only advantage I can think of.

If you have a thin arm, or if you mistime or misplace your arm, you’re basically stuck releasing some or all of your sneeze into the wild, where people may be. And regardless of if you miss, if your sleeve isn’t covered with something, the air is going to go up your nose, down the front of your shirt, and your elbow will be wet. The double-hand coverage of the nose and mouth doesn’t suffer these issues. Mostly.

But I’m here to offer a third solution: cloth. And obviously, I don’t think any one solution is perfect, but I think this solution makes the case for the best.

I’ve made a habit of sneezing into my shirt, through the collar. I turn my head as far down as a can, and away from as many people as possible. This way, the shirt catches all the moisture, and the air is directed toward my waist. Some air still escapes, but at least it’s not going into my nose.

If you’re wearing a dress or something, maybe it’s best to keep a handkerchief on hand. You’ll be the classiest lady in the land. Don’t have pockets? Keep your kerchief tucked in your purse or under jewelry. You’re a grown woman, you can figure it out. Just be aware that if you don’t layer the handkerchief before you sneeze, you’re going to get warm air on your hands.

Obviously this means the ideal solution is to bunch up your handkerchief and put it into your elbow before you sneeze into it. It solves all the problems. Or just don’t sneeze.